18. on rituals
I may not be a big fan of Halloween, but I do appreciate rituals. I crave structure. I thrive under a routine. The comfort of repetition, and the anticipation of what you know is to come, is also why I love traditions. Well, that or the whole “growing up Catholic” thing. Either way, I take particular joy in crafting little traditions for myself and my loved ones.
A few years ago, when I was living in Ohio, my friend Jessie invited me over to have chili and hand out candy on Halloween. I liked the idea of walking inside to a warm meal after a night of sitting on the porch and guessing the outfits of all the trick-or-treaters.
I adopted Jessie’s Halloween ritual after moving to Philadelphia. Two years ago, I made vegetarian chili and set myself up on my stoop. After years of living in neighborhoods with either no kids or no access to a front porch, I was excited to finally take part in the one aspect of Halloween that I find incredibly wholesome. I met some neighbors, saw some adorable costumes, and made the grave mistake of not setting a “two pieces, only” rule. It didn’t take long before I ran out of candy and was on to the next part of what is now my Halloween ritual: Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989).1
In addition to making vegetarian chili, I’ve spent the past three Halloweens watching Kiki, a young witch who flies away from home to begin her training. Despite the young witch who flies around town making deliveries on her broom with her black cat Jiji, this film doesn’t scream Halloween. Which is to say, it’s the perfect Halloween movie for me. Kiki yearns to be accepted by the community she has chosen to settle in. I especially like that the film doesn’t shy away from showing that determination alone isn’t always enough. At one point, Kiki is so overwhelmed by self-doubt she can barely get out of bed, and eventually loses her ability to speak to Jiji or fly her broom. During Kiki’s crisis of confidence, she leans on the small community of people who made her feel welcome during the early days of her training.
Like I said, it’s not really a Halloween movie. But it’s the perfect comfort film on a night where I have the most direct contact with the people in my neighborhood, but one that can simultaneously feel a bit lonely. It’s a timely reminder that building community can take time; it’s ok to start small.
The Watchlist
Last Screened:
1670, Season 2 (Netflix)
House of Guinness (Netflix)
The Diplomat (Netflix)
Traitors, Season 2 (UK - Peacock)
Traitors, Season 3 (US - Peacock)
Currently Watching:
The Morning Show, Season 4 (Apple TV+)
Loot, Season 3 (Apple TV+)
Ghosts, Season 3 (US - Paramount+)
Abbott Elementary, Season 5 (Hulu)
Now Playing on RBTV Radio
“Eduardo e Mônica” - Legião Urbana
“Manchild” - Sabrina Carpenter
“Buddy Holly” - Weezer
I watch the Japanese audio with subtitles because I find Jiji too irritating in the English dub available on HBO. Also subtitles means I have to pay attention, so it’s a win all around.